As I am embarking on the next chapter of my life — a whole new episode is announcing itself — and was reminiscing a bit on the past few years and all its immensely intense rollercoasters and deep changes, I stumbled on a little something that I wrote way back in 2010. And WOW, what a journey I have been on since…..The feminine/masculine-theme WITHIN ourselves has always been an intriguing ‘subject’ for me, ever since I was a child actually. And in 2010 as I was navigating through some intense times of deep introspection, I came to a point where I suddenly ‘knew’ that we actually have to ‘marry ourselves’, in the very first place. THAT is the True Sacred Marriage, encoding all the symbolism, the Inner Unity, the perfect balance of ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ energies and frequencies and ‘qualities’ WITHIN. So we can ‘learn’ to truly love ourselves (no other true love can exist until this has been ‘mastered’….really…).
True, unconditional love, that has nothing to do with (ever so hidden…) co-dependencies of all kinds and on so many different ‘layers of existence’ in so called ‘real life’. That ‘real life’, that what we seem to experience ‘for real, tangible’, 3D so to speak…. is actually the Illusion….. only mirroring to us what is going on INSIDE of us. Showing us all the inner conflicts and imbalances, un-healed traumas and where and how we prefer to lie to ourselves in an attempt to avoid our inner truth….. If only we would wake up to the fact that the REAL truth is only love and beauty…. your — our — essence is only Love. All the rest are residues of ‘the past’ based on fear, limiting (false) beliefs and convictions, and more of that kind.
Once we realize that and go ‘to work’ to heal and clear ourselves, all of that falls away to give space to the true bliss that is in our core. And yes, the illusion of separation, of duality between ‘men’ and ‘women’ is a big part of what is keeping us ‘trapped’ in our own prisons. We all are whole, we all have both. Learning to love ourselves completely frees us of any kind of ‘co-dependent’ relationship, ‘book-keeping relationships’ as I call them. When we realize that we are complete, and once we are able to love ourselves FIRST in the way we truly need and deserve, we do not accept anything less anymore.
And we also see and FEEL very strongly that we can not “do that kind of ‘love’ to anyone else”….. This goes completely against our innate integrity. And for the same reason, you do not accept to be ‘treated’ in ‘that way’ anymore, by anyone. The lack of this self-love actually is the Core of just about all ‘issues’ and ‘problems’ we see and experience in our lives, on our planet even. It’s all about respect also, on the deepest level within. Self-respect and integrity, and from there respect for all and everything else. Without true self-love, everything you experience in your life is false. (…. which is the core of all sadness, depression, and any kind of ‘negativity’ we experience. Because wether or not you are conscious of it, you FEEL on some level that you are ‘out of tune with yourself’. And that triggers ‘inner frictions’ that get more and more ‘painful’ and ‘annoying’ over time.)
So: deep, unconditional self-love is Key.
And THAT is what frees us completely up to be able to live True Love, the one that is FREE, and needs no ‘reason to exist’ (however deeply hidden). THAT kind of love, just IS. Undeniably. And only asks to BE, to EXIST, to be lived and experienced, and … EXPRESSED. That is the kind of love that does not ask for ‘sacrifices’ (— and most definitely not to sacrifice parts of ourselves that are actually part of our core-identity…), or ‘give and take’. It does not accept to be ‘imprisoned’, and like it or not, will push you through anything you need to change to liberate ‘it’, and therefor ‘you’. The longer or more you resist, the more ‘painful’ the process, but in the end, the only choice you truly have, is to surrender and live your truth, authentically.
And WHY wouldn’t you, really, surrender to this push, this call of your Soul….. that may very well be the best question you ever asked yourself…. because in the end, it’s the best thing you can do and not ‘just’ for yourself…. By answering that call, you give the most beautiful gift of Love to yourself (finally!) AND at the same time to all and everything around you. Setting them free…. freeing them of the chains of co-dependency that we so long have mistaken for ‘love’. So much more to be said about all of that, but this post is getting long enough as it is already…. and I rely on your soul’s intelligence (of the Heart….) to either know that already or figure it out…. Just this: keeping yourself ‘in prison’ (out of fear…), keeps everyone else in your surroundings ‘in prison’. Do you really want to be responsible for that….?
So here is what I wrote back then in 2010:
(And adding this next little poem, written by Varun Sharna, expressing perfectly what ‘it’ is….)
“The safest place is in your embrace
You and me. We are just pure love.
There is nothing more to be understood
than bathing in this ocean of love
embracing my twin flame.
This cosmic marriage will take us
to the highest heights and deepest depths.
There will be dark shadows on the hunt.
We will never have to be scared
once we hold each other so close
that our heart beats become one.
The safest place for a twin flame
is the home they call their twin flame.”
And this explains more in a very clear way:
“The inner Masculine and Inner Feminine need each other. When they are in good inner relationship with us, we feel like healthy, whole human beings. We are able to live as ourselves in the world in a relatively peaceful, creative, and enjoyable way. When there is damage to the Inner Masculine, there is difficulty in standing up for our truths, in knowing what our truths and values are, and in knowing how to protect them without feeling like we have to fight constantly just to be allowed to be ourselves. We might also feel that unless others see things as we do, we have no power, and then have to fight to dominate others, manipulating them to our point of view.
The Inner Masculine part of us often needs healing so that He can fulfill his divine purpose of inner strength, protection and honoring of the self in all its uniqueness, so that we can live as free, strong individuals that know who they are and are happy to just love and be that person-and allow others to do the same. This will happen at any time He is asked to hold more consciousness, to hold permission and strength to be even more of the unique Self. The masculine and feminine within us need to be in balance with each other. There is no point having a powerful feminine-with unique values and strong creative force-without an equally strong masculine energy that is able to act upon those unique values, no matter what others may think, and take action to allow the creative force of the inner feminine to flow into form in the physical world. When your inner feminine is growing and desires to express her uniqueness in the world more boldly than ever before, the Inner Masculine needs to grow in self belief, self worth and self confidence so that he may take action to allow the blossoming Feminine to truly be in the world whilst feeling safe and secure.” ~Alana Fairchild