Week§10: …can you?
Pondering ‘detachment’ again lately. I found myself a few times at, let’s call it ‘point zero’ during the last few days. That place (mostly just after waking up) where for a few moments I had no clue ‘who’ I was, nor ‘where’, nor ‘why’, nor what ever happened even the day before, no sense of ‘time’, …. I just ‘was’. I can’t even say that I am ‘me’ at those moments. Without any ‘identity’, ‘history’ nor ‘future’. In a way, a state of ‘non existing’, while at the same time being way more ‘alive’ and ‘true’. Quite blissful actually, even if there is not even any emotion ‘attached’ to it….. blissfully ‘dead’…
And then suddenly ‘reality’ kicks in again, ‘identity’, and everything linked and connected to that. And you would think that then I would feel ‘alive’ again, but that is not true…. it feels restricted… and ‘dead’ in another, not so nice way. And I got even deeper aware of all those layers I have taken on at some point in life and that I definitely intend to strip off, once and for all, right down to the essence, my true essence. So much work done already, but as I go deeper and deeper layers ‘pop up’ that are so subtle that I until recently ignored were there (or: chose to ignore, for ‘convenience’-sake….). All remaining aspects of ‘falseness’ (read: old blue-print..) that are still running the show somewhere underneath out of fear and thus blind my vision of my true path and purpose, that deep inner Truth that makes my heart beat so strongly in spite of those layers…… they are not serving anyone nor anything.
So now I am working on getting into that state of ultimate detachment more and more consciously and deliberately. Meditation is key of course. Curious what happens then…. It definitely feels like ANYthing is possible from there. All ‘problems’ that are actually created in our lives because of those attachments to people and ‘things’ for most often ‘false’ reasons (meaning: ‘reasons’ based on ‘survival-fear’) simply would (will!) not exist anymore. The perfect smooth solution to any of those would just be there, you would finally be able to SEE them…. since the problems are attached to our false identities, and not to our essence. The false identity has to ‘die’ for us to truly live.
So I was wondering….. can you? I mean, you? Forget everything you think you are? All roles you have taken on and identify with? All that ‘you’ (your identity) is attached to for whatever reason? Everyone and everything you love — or, actually, ‘think’ you love? Can YOU? Can you just ‘be’, even if for only a few moments at a time? Can you be honest enough to witness what and how that would feel and be? Can you completely detach? Do you have the courage to make the changes according to what you would learn about ‘yourself’ this way?
Have you ever wondered: What are the limitations of your perception of ‘who’ you are? ….
This throws also a deeper ‘light’ on the ‘Guy in the glass’-poem. So do this exercise…… go to the mirror (yes, ‘the mirror’ again…) and look yourself straight in the eye… first one eye, and then the other… and observe…. FEEL …. what do they tell you? Are they saying the same thing? Imagine for a second you are looking deep into someone else’s eyes, that the eyes you see in the mirror are someone else’s… (your mirror-self maybe…) what do you see, feel? How do you react on what you truly see? If you CAN look into those eyes that is…? And can you look beyond identity? Can you look right into the essence?
For those who do not know that poem of Dale Wimbrow, here you go…. read it with your heart, look into your eyes, look into your eyes with your heart, and ‘see’….
“When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf, and the world makes you king for a day, then go to the mirror and look at yourself, and see what the guy has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or ‘partner for life’, who judgment upon you must pass. The person whose verdict counts most in your life, is the guy staring back from the glass.
He’s the guy to please, never mind all the rest, for he’s with you clear up to the end, and you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test if the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum, and think you’re a wonderful guy, but the guy in the glass says you’re only a bum if you can’t look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, and get pats on the back as you pass, but your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.”
Have a look at this too…. The Dark Night of the Soul again, and very much linked to this post as well.