Week 16: True Health
Although ‘True Health’ officially is not one of my PPNs, health IS a big theme in my life and it runs through my whole DMP for several reasons.
One of them, obviously is that without it, I would not be able to perform as an artist the way I want to. I need my body for my creative expression. And I need it to perform amazingly, on several levels.
And being challenged in that area for a while was a major reason for me to enter the MasterKey program.
Another reason is that, independently of that (well, it’s not, really, but I mean even if I would not need my body to be able to perform at the level that I want it to), I have always been fascinated in the for me obvious link between the psyche and the body and the illnesses that the latter mirrors, and have therefor been interested for the biggest part of my life in what one can do to be, stay, or become healthy (yes, you could say that in a way it is kind of an obsession.)
And especially last week, when getting deeper into my issue about ‘gentleness towards myself’, I started to notice the link between the inner world and the body even stronger. Finally…. Or actually, I FINALLY found the courage to APPLY, to the core. To really take care of myself.
Although I knew and felt and observed already before that the true source of health is our mind, strangely enough I did not really-really-REALLY get to the bottom of this knowledge, and in my impatience and eagerness to get results (and lack of self-confidence) slipped away from my innate wisdom about this theme and treated my body as ‘body’, as ‘something else than me’ — ‘me’ being my mind, or my soul.
So I went at it — getting healthy — from the outside, mainly. Which helped, of course, but can only help to a certain extend, to a certain level, and always holds the ‘menace’ of re-lapsing in a less healthy state.
But last week as I was exercising my sweet gentle persistence, and also because thanks to the weeks of ‘sits’ and observations I was getting lots of insights on the energetic levels and about how my mind functions, and about the kind and quality of thoughts that I apparently entertain(ed) as well as more information about how and where (very old) emotions ‘settle’ at certain places in my body and how the body changes once those emotions get released, I started to not just realize how far I had gotten away from my original intuition in my ACTIONS, but also found the determination and strength to really go for that ‘True Health’ which actually originates in our Thoughts, and DO what I knew I had to do.
I also started to see a link with my ‘official’ PPNs (relief … 🙂 …): Autonomy and Recognition for Creative Expression:
my body is the creative expression of my thoughts and emotions.
I actually ‘saw’ that during a sit: at the moment my neck is an issue, and I really saw the vertebra being made of lots of ‘brabbling’ and tense thoughts, contradictions, fighting thoughts, and so on, all written on top of each other, annulling each-other partly, …. I realized that no building could be made solidly and ‘performing’ when built out of this kind of material…. and so on….
So, recognizing that gives me the key to change the parts that have started expressing scattered thoughts, and disruptive emotions.
And since that’s where it originates, that’s where we can restore it.
From the INSIDE outward.
So in my sit I started erasing what was written there, to make a clean ‘sheet’, ready to write some nice and good and functional stuff on it so to speak. And when I stumble on any tension or pain, I make it my task to figure out what thought or emotion this is the creative expression of. How? I tune into it, and let that part ‘speak’ to me, I let it express it’s story, I take the time to really listen. As you would do with a dear friend or child.
My energy-work helps a lot with that, but also my music: while focussing on thinking and feeling ‘profound well-being’and visualising ‘my emblem'(which contains every single one of my desires in life, ‘My House in the Mountains’ 😉 )) I take my viola, and voice,separate or combined, and search for the specific note (frequency) that resonates into the tense area or pain, and I keep playing that until I feel that the spot ‘has been fed’, and things start to move inside, my body repositions itself, sometimes there is a real emotional release (sometimes with a bit of delay).
Digging deep. AND: manifesting a BIG chunk of my DMP: being a Healing Artist.
Beginning with myself.The rest will follow.
As the days go by, I feel that a much more intimate connection is installing between ‘me’ and ‘my body’, I start to really merge, with ‘me’. I start to feel almost constantly that ‘I am my essence’, I am incarnating and integrating structurally my full potential, gradually, by THINKING that potential consciously and FOCUSSING on it. From the inside. CREATING it from the inside outward, using the frequencies of my mind. And not, as I used to think, from somewhere outside trying to slip in that body that was supposed to be ‘mine’.
Another thing that ‘hit my mind’: I used to think in terms of ‘once this functions again as before/is healed, I will be able to do this and this as I used to.’ But wait a minute: I am not into this to GO BACK to what was before and functioning as I did before, because that was how I was when I was made out of those scattered thoughts….. kadzzziiinnnngggg……
No, of course, I will be different, so I — my body — will be functioning DIFFERENTLY, with another quality of gestures and so on….!!! oh how exciting!!! 🙂 🙂 …. yep, that’s FuturMe …. not the same as OldMe … 🙂 ….
I have some disciplining to do, KINDLY 😉 , feed my body only with good mental and emotional stuff that I choose consciously.
True Health is the effect, caused and created by the Profound WellBeing of a Truly Healthy Mind.
And: that way, I also work my way towards True Autonomy. Patiently. (pun intended 😉 ).