Week 18: My Ruby

I’m in absolute awe with how the infinite intelligence operates according to the way every individual functions.

(note: this is a LONG blog ….. you might need some more time than usual …. sorry about that, but it had to be done…. ๐Ÿ˜‰ …. so thanks for staying with me till the end!)

Beginning this week a door opened in my mind giving access to an insight about a mechanism that may well be the very root of my issues in life so far. A MAJOR breakthrough, and as the week evolved I started to see, observe and feel the vast root-system that it has developed throughout all areas of my life and functioning, so nooooo, I’m not done digging yet….. but still, WHAT a difference.

And what I am SO amazed about, is the way I unconsciously programmed and timed this SO wonderfully well within the MasterKey and Haanel’s lessons, as well as how deliciously that infinite intelligence used the very symbolical and metaphorical ways that my personal mind likes to operate in, to bring me to that door and, at last, open it.

As you can read in my week 13 ย I already discovered the incredible unconscious intelligence that made me intuitively pick my shapes when we had to attribute them to our PPNs.

Now, turned out this goes actually WAY deeper than I initially thought.

Topic: one of my PPNs, Recognition for Creative Expression, which I represented with the red circle —- so now think: a Ruby. Yes, the stone. This I did not think about at first, and I will come back to it later.

And here I would like you to watch this video first, it’s in french, but subtitled in english. Think ‘gal and guy in glass’…….

I will come back to it later as well.

Although this PPN was very clearly and strongly picked, especially knowing that I’m an artist to the core, it also has created tension inside me from very early on, that gradually grew until it became almost unbearable last week.
So of course, over and over I questioned it, if it was the right one, if I made the right affirmations, I questioned ‘my path’, my DMP, I questioned the for me inconceivable ‘link’ with both the Law of Giving (‘if I need — want.. — recognition for giving my creative expression, then I am NOT giving without reciprocity?! HOW can this be a genuine PPN then….?) and the Law of Growth (‘if I am constantly repeating and focussing on ‘needing’ recognition, it is the ‘need’ for it that will grow (which I seemed to experience), so when can this ever be ‘fulfilled’?) However hard I stretched my mind, I could not figure it out.

And OF COURSE I practiced the ‘give more get more’: giving recognition to others. OF COURSE I could understand that, at least for composers, real recognition for their music may come only after they’re gone, no problem (oh, well …. ๐Ÿ˜€ ), or that it can come ‘in other ways’, but for a professional performing artist, the recognition has to be ‘instant’, because the income is directly related to that, so I would prefer it not to come ‘after I’m gone’ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ …..

But other than that, what was becoming quite unlivable for me was that I observed that I was ‘after recognition’ not only for my art, but for everything I wrote, said, did,…… well, yes: for who I AM …. since I figured out that I am the creative expression of ‘myself’….. and never seemed to really get it …. djeeeeeezsssss…….. this was NEVER going to work…… I could see no beginning nor end anymore in this story …. you can picture a ‘Snake biting it’s own tail’– kind of Dragon, that was only growing and GROWING …. and kind of suffocating me in the process….

Enters My Ruby.

OF COURSE (what did you think ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) ‘I took IT into a sit’ … well, numerous sits ๐Ÿ˜€

And suddenly the huge red circle popped up. But did not stay ‘circle’, it became a sphere, and the word ‘ruby’ came to my mind. Now I have always been fascinated by minerals, and used them sometimes very intuitively without really knowing a lot about it. But a ruby was never one of them, I actually kind of had an aversion to it (funny, haha, you will understand this aversion at the end of the story ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). But in those sits, it became almost an obsession, I was ‘bathing’ in it almost. And interestingly enough, on one occasion, suddenly the sphere was not red, but blue …..
So I looked it up: what is the symbolical meaning of a ruby? What is it used for?

SymbolAnd I stumbled on….. of course, the crown jewels. And in a blink I saw the link with my emblem (see week 13) that I am ‘working with’ to anchor everything I learn and discover in the course: a golden crown (yellow….) with rubies (red circle), emerald, (green…) and sapphire (blue ….) — and diamond being white. Kings wore those crowns because they believed that the power of those stones would become theirs.

So ruby is one of them, and, most importantly for me: in early times, (old India) the ruby was seen as the first stone, from which all other gems were born. Oh…..? How does this relate to me?

When trying to figure out why it appeared ‘blue’ once, which in my books stands for that other PPN ‘Autonomy’ ……… hmmmm…… how were the need for recognition and autonomy linked……?

Suddenly I felt that, in my enthuuuuuuusiasm ๐Ÿ˜‰ I was not saying ‘I need’ with the feeling of ‘simply’ I need something, but charged with what in Dutch (and French for that matter) is a completely different word, so I did not notice my ‘mistake’ for all those months — : ‘I am NEEDY’, yes, CRAVING for. I felt quite dizzy for a while, physically, like if I suddenly was suffering from concussion.

I checked in the Alliances about the english ‘I need’ and ‘needy’ ….. only to be confirmed AND Daniel (who I am SO grateful to for answering me) pointed out this ‘needy’ being a state of ‘never having enough’ even if it IS there (that, I had not thought about until then. Thanks so much for the Alliance ๐Ÿ™‚ )

And KADZZIIIINNNNGGGG …. that’s EXACTLY how I felt…… and when digging a bit deeper I figured out WHY the ‘give more get more’ was ‘not’ working: yes, I was giving recognition….. but, with my insight of last week in mind about being ‘false’, suddenly I saw that what I gave was actually very often (slightly) ‘hollow’, because…. it simply came from a hollow place ….

… you can not give what you don’t have: I never gave recognition to myself, for simply being me, I did not HAVE it ….

I could not, because from very young I was conditioned that I was never ‘enough’, started to believe that and from as long as I remember was ‘shaving’ and ‘chiseling’ desperately to be accepted, throwing myself in the trash-bin over and over again, on a sometimes very subtle level (jeezzz I thought I had dealt with that over the years, but this thing was rooted deeper than I ever imagined…..I did not understand yet that it was about ‘true recognition’ ….)

And of course, this happens in week 18, Haanel never used the word ‘recognition’ as much before….. ๐Ÿ˜€ …. ‘the recognition of the self as an individualization of the Universal Intelligence’….. with innate right to exist, to simply be, in your very own unique way (hi, Og ๐Ÿ˜‰ ), no need to ‘earn it’ in whatever way, and with the power to create………

Enters the ‘blue ruby’ (blue: PPN: autonomy) : I had to autonomously CREATE and develop recognition for myself, give myself permission to give it to myself, AND to learn to receive and accept it, from myself and others.
Because of course it has been there all around all the time, I just could not accept it.

And, very important: I suddenly saw how in the past almost always I subconsciously managed to create circumstances and thoughts/feelings/behaviors to ensure me NOT to get the recognition I was after/needed. Yes, I got praised, and yes I have accomplished a LOT, also very extraordinary things, but I nearly ALWAYS managed to ‘fail’ at least in my own eyes, mess up something, so that even when recognition came, I simply could not — in my eyes rightfully — accept it fully ‘because I actually messed up what I REALLY wanted to give/deliver — or ‘circumstances’ made it impossible ….’ (haha, exactly THAT mechanism brought me ‘to my knees’ last sunday, made me live a horrible moment of ‘failure’….. that actually I am SO grateful for because having to dive in it SO deep was exactly what I needed to ‘see’ and ‘turn it around’….. thanks, Old Blue-Print ๐Ÿ™‚ ….) …. or …. I seemed to be simply ‘not noticed’ ….. (this particularly started to appear much more frequently lately….) but hey, I NEVER REALLY NOTICED MY REAL SELF, so…… yes, I secretly had an ‘aversion’ to it, so I managed to not ‘having to get it’ …. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now I see all of that was ‘only’ a mask hiding the REAL reason that I could not receive it: I did not recognize myself. And you can not get what you don’t already have…..

So now back to the ‘Gal’n’Guy in Glass’-video: this appeared a few days ago on my facebook (again, PERFECT timing): suddenly I saw and realized:
when we started saying ‘I love you’ to the gal in the mirror (and I had actually started that already a few months prior to the course) I meant it, or better: I thought I said it to ME and meant it…. !
But: no, I said it to my ‘higher’ self, or future self (unconsciously of course), and meant it –(remember the guy in the video saying it first to the reflection of the lady…..) and it occurs to me now that ONLY NOW I am starting to say it toย myself, because only now I recognize that there IS someone else in that mirror: ‘me’ as I am NOW, and WITH my past INCLUDED…..

My Ruby is doing it’s work: giving me the first power, of which all others are born: love, true recognizing, all embracing love.

And oh, little miracle: ‘by coincidence’ I only recently reconnected with a cousin of mine, who also only recently suddenly discovered some old video-tapes of family-feasts, he told me I was in there too and that he would send me some… and TODAY, when the whole chunk is finally starting to really sink in and is getting digested, he sent me this little video. According to the dress I must have been just about 4 years old.

Le Noyau (the core) metallic pastel G. van Assche

Le Noyau
(the core)
metallic pastel
G. van Assche

And yes, Janus, looking back and forward at the same time, all exists in the same time:

when I saw it my heart burst open. Suddenly I recognized (as in : ‘An awareness that something perceived has been perceived before’) a very important chunk of, actually:ย ‘my essence’,ย that I am actually working on and developing now because I attributed it to (want it to be part of ) Futur’Selfie….. light, bright, joyful, playful, interacting, generous, giving and taking, ‘in the moment’, enjoying …. (even if already at those times life was not all roses…… but still this part was intact at least at that moment in time…..) …so now I have the PERFECT feeling tho replace whatever negative thought with …. ๐Ÿ™‚ … hello Laws of Dual Thought and Substitution ๐Ÿ™‚

I also saw “The Art of ‘Failing‘ Gracefully” ….. ๐Ÿ˜‰ …..

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Katia Papadopoulos

Dear Dominica
You told me to read this post 3 weeks ago!! Wow, I can’t tell you it resonates with me….. I’ve read it twice already and as a result I have had to write down my feelings about it because in some ways it’s like you were talking about me. And you’re making me verbalise (in writing) the ‘why’ of my situation which I’m not really liking at this moment because so much is going on in my life and I’m feeling very overwhelmed! So thank you, but did you have to!!:)
Please know that you are helping me so much and although my travels with MKMMA are coming to a sort-of stand still, by reading your blogs I feel/see what I can be.

    Dominica Eyckmans

    ah, Katia!!!! thank you SO much for your comment! I’m so happy that it was of any help for you, I knew it would when I heard you on that mini-webinar….. yet everything at it’s own time in every life….. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ….
    being able to be at service to you in this matter really means a lot to me! thanks for letting me know!

Michael James

Wow what a post Dominica. I am with Rex I am going to read this several more times because there is so much good content here and I don’t want to miss any of it. Thank You Very Much!

    Dominica Eyckmans

    thank you dear Michael for reading and replying…..and wow, now I’m almost afraid to write my next blog because it will never be able to top this one apparently judging by all the reactions here…. ๐Ÿ˜€ ….

Terrence Neraase

Dominica I am going to have to come back here and read this post over and over. What a superb story and intricate linking to your life and the MKMMA Experience. I loved the video of the Guy/Gal in the glass. Actually brought tears to my eyes. And the little you is so expressive, joyful and confident. Hopefully we can all rediscover/uncover the magnificence we came with at our creation…. as you are clearly doing.

    Dominica Eyckmans

    thank you Terrence ๐Ÿ™‚ your reply gives me goosebumps… it did not really mean to ‘get to so many people’ in such an intense way with the blog, I just needed to ‘write it off’, but I’m even more excited and happy that apparently ‘just being me’ has such an effect and can be inspirational to others ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks, thanks, thanks ๐Ÿ™‚


Dominica – speaking of crown jewels… you are! Your intuition must be developed to the point of being scary… in a good way.

I find your revealing thoughts inspiring and if I was looking for a new super hero… I see her standing in her Wonder Woman pose speaking eloquently to the world with beautiful creative expressions and powerful insights.

My relationship with the guy in the glass is great – but I still enjoyed the video – thanks for posting it here.

Love ya Ruby…

    Dominica Eyckmans

    oh Dennis thanks so much! It most definitely is a VERY fascinating road, and I’m loving every minute of it, and more so every minute even ๐Ÿ™‚


You tirelessly answer the call… going deeper and deeper every week… you get so much out of this whole experience… you inspire me and others… thank you

    Dominica Eyckmans

    oh thanks for reading and replying dear Mani! doing what I can, because it’s my only option. that’s how it feels. if I would do any less, I’ld better stop completely, EVERYthing. and definitely is NOT the option ๐Ÿ™‚

Eleanor Norton

What a fantastic post! You are well on your way in the Hero’s Journey

Charlotte Rรธnne Dam

Your are amazing.. remember that..
The way you describe this..
Thanks for letting the world know, so your light can shine even more..
I agree with Luc..
It is amazing what insight you have, not only for yourself, but also others..

I’m so grateful being you mastermind partner.

Barbara Westfall

Congratulations on your discoveries about yourself. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Apparently you are ready and it is sooooo fascinating to see. Keep up the great work. I can totally relate to your story. The more we dig, the more we learn and love back to health.

    Dominica Eyckmans

    thank you VERY much Barbara, your words warm my heart…. am I ready? Ready to go on digging and discovering, with enthuuuusiasm, fascination and joy, yes, that I am ๐Ÿ™‚ oh and with LOVE ๐Ÿ™‚

Rex Peterson

Wow – I am going to have to read this 4 or 5 times more, there is a lot here! And some is deeper than I currently realize. There have been few blogs which brought a tear to my eye, this is #1. Thank you for sharing, it is going to help me uncover my anchors. Not the anchors which keep me steadfast, but those which drag me down.

I feel that how we have been regarding our “old blueprint” might not be the most healthy. Your post is strengthening this thought (which I have discussed with Daniel – he has terrific insights!) and I can feel my next blog percolating in the grey matter!!!

I love you Dominica. Saying “I love you Rex Peterson” to myself in the mirror will never be the same……..

    Dominica Eyckmans

    waw Rex, you made ME shed a few tears …. thanks SO much!
    and yes, concerning the ‘old blue print’: I posted something about that in the alliances, ‘insights’, right after ‘it’ happened:

    Iโ€™m getting another idea about โ€˜bad old blue-printโ€™. I had a MAJOR piece of โ€˜concreteโ€™ falling off today, the size of an Eastern-Island Statue, at least ๐Ÿ™‚ โ€ฆโ€ฆ and it occurred that the one who made that happen was what I thought was the old blue-printโ€ฆ.. butโ€ฆ. well, if it was, it was working in perfect harmony and collaboration with my Soul, higher Self, future Self (take a pick) to get this done. I guess you could say that is now โ€˜kissing the dragonโ€™, if you wish ๐Ÿ™‚ (loving it to bits even, at this moment ๐Ÿ™‚ )โ€ฆ. recognizing the old โ€˜badโ€™ one for actually being a big part of my โ€˜rescuerโ€™ โ€ฆ. look behind the clothโ€ฆ. I was being grateful for EVERYTHINGโ€ฆ. Things were developing really well for me since the beginning of the course, apart from an issue that kept bothering me, and increasingly so. Last week it nearly brought me to my knees, to the point where I was doubting and questioning my whole DMP, my entire reason for living, for merely existing even (luckily, and strangely enough all this happened on a โ€˜background of happinessโ€™, โ€ฆ.), as suddenly event after event was turning out completely the opposite from what my DMP is about, AND going โ€˜againstโ€™ my promises on my POA-card. So I was more and more determined to โ€˜fight those aspects of my old blue-print responsible for thatโ€™ and throw it out off the door. But it just would not go. Quite the opposite, it seemed to cling to me even stronger. And made me experience something that before would haveSMASHED me and I would not have recovered from it for months, years maybe, maybe even not at all. Actually as bad as that event in a very important area of my life NEVER happened to me before. And I could NOT understand why NOW, in the MKE and having done and doing ALL the work, this could happenโ€ฆโ€ฆ Turns out I neededEXACTLY THAT EVENT AND EXPERIENCE to FINALLY see behind the curtain of a mechanism that has been sabotaging me actually ALL my life, in probably the most important area of it (and has links to ALL the areas of my life, really). So now I see it like this: higher self co-operated with old blue-print (and /or vice versa) to manifest exactly this, the OPPOSITE of what I was working towards, TO MAKE THE CHANGE POSSIBLE towards the new ways and new lifeโ€ฆ.. so I was actually EXACTLY on course all the wayโ€ฆ. all my affirmations first had to make things WORSE to bring me to the point of breakthrough. So that was a MAJOR blessing in disguise. And one that I am GRATEFUL for beyond any measure I could ever have imagined. How wonderfully intelligent is this Omniscient substance. I am celebrating over the moon and back โ€ฆโ€ฆ. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ And it feels like Higher self, future self (as far as they may not be one) AND old blueprint are celebrating withe me, hands in handsโ€ฆ. THANKS MKE,MARK, TRISH, DAVENE, LUC, ALL of YOU!!!!!

Luc Griffet

The way several synchronicities are coming to support your journey is the proof that your are honoring your higher self and your guides (I mean those who support you from above ๐Ÿ™‚ by doing your job of human being with passion and brilliance, and I am sure that your guides upstairs are proud of you (I am too by the way ๐Ÿ™‚ …and will probably therefore push you even further…I would surely take this as a good news and I hope you will do too ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for your sharing which has brought me lots of positive emotions, especially your last video which instantly connected me to my 4 your old little boy inside…he needs me too and you reminded me that I should not wait longer to take care of him…

    Dominica Eyckmans

    thanks dear Luc, for ‘sticking it out’ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€
    and yes, those synchronicities, I have cherished them all my life, and lately they occur more and more often ๐Ÿ™‚ ..
    and indeed I feel this is ‘just’ the beginning, from here on, I will most probably go much deeper as well as higher, and I’m not afraid, for neither direction, but curious and FASCINATED.
    Now first I am filling myself up with that wonderful energy I reconnected to in myself, visualizing that little creature growing inside of me, feeding every cell in my body and mind with it. Suddenly I think that all my issues in different ways I have had almost all my life with ‘food’, may very well have their root in this mechanism too.
    And thanks SO much for the significant part you are playing in this fabulous story ๐Ÿ™‚ ! xxx

Marj Bernstrom

(((hugs))) I can feel your happiness with who you are discovering. I know you bring a smile to my heart each time I read not only your blogs, but as you encourage others in the Alliances. You truly have a big heart! I look forward to the time I can just sit and talk with you. I Love you!

    Dominica Eyckmans

    oooh sweetheart, love you too!!! and haha, your comment made me experience the kind of sensation Tesla myst have had ๐Ÿ˜€ …. thank you so very very much for having been there with me al along!
    and yes, looking forward to ‘those’ times too…. at my place, at your place, at where-ever place… ๐Ÿ™‚
    will you guys come to Kauai by the way?

Dave Bernstrom

It is a treasure to read such a post that brings out so much emotion in the reader… (me). Emotions of happiness for the true Dominca are High…. Emotions for what I have learned and will apply to myself from your “digging” are of of gratitude and thankfulness. Because your post was as Martin say’s “well structured” it fed me entirely through the read, which seems to have taken only moments. Long post no… great post…YES. I too am thankful for the Alliances here of so many including Martin, Daniel, so many others and of course Dominica. Back to my tea:)

    Dominica Eyckmans

    ooooooohhhh thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ you make me double happy reading this, SO happy that I was able to give you all that you experienced reading it !! that SURE is a part of my DMP by the way ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you for that!!!
    (but tell me, what was in your tea….? ๐Ÿ˜€ …)


I’m been reading your blogs week after week, and just when I think you cant go deeper, out comes the excavation equipment, and deeper she (you) goes. Your writing is not just beautiful and descriptive, its also incredibly well structured. You truly are an artist. Loved both videos as well. I relate to the 1st one in many ways. I would love to see some of the child, we see in the video, come out.

    Dominica Eyckmans

    ooooooh Martin!!!!! you make my heart sing ๐Ÿ™‚ !!!! and thanks SO much, not only for reading my blogs since the beginning, and all the lovely and inspiring replies, but especially for sitting THIS one out….. ๐Ÿ˜€ I hereby promise I will not write blogs of THAT length anymore ๐Ÿ˜‰ …. but hey, this one I really really needed, if only for myself. It was ‘the theme’ of the insight anyway …. ๐Ÿ˜€ I LOVE the ‘excavation equipment’ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ I can really visualize myself with it ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€
    And I will read your blog later today, I’m looking very much forward to it, as always, need to manage my time a bit at the moment though ๐Ÿ™‚

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